I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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