Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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