I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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