Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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