Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
