the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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