"it" just moved
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I would ride that face into the sunset
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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