A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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