I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
