so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
