Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i came on her dog
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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