Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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