Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize