I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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