He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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