so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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