i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
