If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
