Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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