That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
