Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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