Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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