Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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