so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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