im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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