and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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