That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize