Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
