Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
