My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize