She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
