Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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