He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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