She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
