a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
