dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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