The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
