he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize