so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
