I got chris browned last night
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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