Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
