Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No subtext here. People are naked.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
