girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize