Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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