with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
There r osticjed everywhere
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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