And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
