Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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