Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
