so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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