So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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