i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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