was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She needs sedatives and a leash
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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