Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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