I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Everyone says I win the strip club
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
