Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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